The five mindset shifts that make marketing easier, with Darby Days

Darby Days 0:02

In order to become good at something, you have to be bad at it first. And when you take yourself so seriously and put so many restrictions on yourself and bully yourself into believing it has to be perfection, the first time around, you're just getting in your own way.

Leah Neaderthal 0:21

Welcome to the Smart Gets Paid podcast with me, Leah Neaderthal, I help women land higher paying clients in their independent consulting businesses, but I've never been a salesperson. My background is in corporate marketing, and when I started my first consulting business, I learned pretty quickly that it's about 1000 times harder to sell your own stuff than it is to sell someone else's so I taught myself how to do it, and I created the sales approach that I now share with my clients so they can feel more comfortable in the sales process. Get more of the right clients and get paid way more for every client contract. So whether your client contracts are $5,000 $100,000 or more, if you want to work with more of the clients you love, do more of the work you love, and get paid more than you ever thought you could, then you're in the right place. Let's do it together. Thanks for tuning in, and don't forget to rate, review and share.

Leah Neaderthal 1:15

Hey there, Leah here, and thanks for tuning in. I hope that wherever you're listening to this, wherever you are right now. I hope you're having a great week, making some good progress in your business and taking some time for you. So maybe you listen to this podcast regularly, or maybe you've seen me on, you know, LinkedIn, or you're in the academy and you see me on coaching calls or in our Slack community. But what you might not know is that it's not just me pulling the strings behind all of this, I have an incredible team supporting me and working alongside me to make everything happen. Because when I first started my business, yeah, I did everything myself, no question. But as the business grew, it really became clear that I needed to bring in people who could take over, you know, certain areas, and bring in their expertise. There was no way I could do it all on my own. So my first hire was an admin who helped me streamline everything, sort of behind the scenes. And after we wrapped up our time together, I brought on another admin, Latrice Prader, who you probably remember from episode 105, and so now fast forward. I mean, my business is 10 years old.

Leah Neaderthal 2:22

We celebrated our 10 year anniversary back in January, and as the business has evolved, I've just been realizing that it's time to bring in more people and pass the baton to some of the things I used to handle. So over the years, I've expanded my team, and now I have this amazing group of people who help me, you know, keep things running smoothly and also provide just amazing support to our clients inside the academy. So here's who's on the team. Sue Holloway is our brilliant copywriter, Cass Leroy is our Director of Operations, and Sarah Cushing, who also works in operations with Cass. And Sue and Cass aren't just behind the scenes. They also work with our Academy clients. So Sue is our copy coach and coaching our clients on all things marketing, copy and cast coaches on operations and tech strategy. Brandy Zimmerman is our coach for new members, focusing on the fundamentals. And Jacqueline Sargent is our expert coach for all things B2B, marketing and pipeline building. And Shaily Hakimian is our accountability coach and Community Manager, just making sure that our members are always supported. And one of the things I love most is that my team has actually been with me for, like, a long time. Shaily, has been with me for five years. Cass and Sue, I believe, for three. Brandy actually came into my orbit, first as a client in 2020 and she became a coach in the last year. And then Jacqueline and Sarah are our newest members from the past year. And these women are the ones who keep things running smoothly and are just so incredible for our members in the Academy.

Leah Neaderthal 3:54

And there's one other person that you may not see much, but who plays a huge role behind the scenes. My marketing director, Darby Rolfe, and I'm so excited to introduce you to her today. So Darby is a marketing expert who specializes in helping Coaches and Consultants get their message out and build smart marketing campaigns. We started working together about a year ago, and at that point, I had already been growing solidly and steadily through our LinkedIn strategy and our newsletter, and with Sue helping to fine tune our communications, but I realized, you know, after like, nine years in business, it was time to bring in someone fresh, to take our marketing, really, to the next level. And when I say marketing, I mean I come from marketing, but as I quickly discovered, you know, when I started my consulting business and then my coaching business. And as the coaching business has grown, you know, even people who, like have a marketing background, you know, air quotes the type of marketing and the frequency. And you know, being smart in digital marketing, the type of marketing that it takes, is just very different. And so it's been a learning curve for me, and a real learning. Journey, and it was time to bring in somebody who was just a real expert in this. And I have to tell you, I am so glad I did. Darby is sharp. She is quick thinking. She is so smart, and she just gets our vibe when it comes to marketing our business and, you know, our messaging. And she's been just an amazing addition to our team, so I wanted to bring her on the podcast so that she can share how she thinks about marketing and how we approach it together, and to give you some insights on how to think about marketing for your own consulting business.

Leah Neaderthal 5:32

So in this conversation, she's going to share the five mindsets that are going to make marketing your business easier and more fun. You're going to hear about what Nike and Oprah both know that you can apply to your consulting business. You're going to learn how to stand out on LinkedIn, even if you feel like it's just full of noise and junk. And you're going to learn how to stop holding yourself back and actually start having fun with marketing. So if you've been posting here and there on LinkedIn or doing some random acts of marketing, or if you know you should be marketing your business, but you just can't quite get into it. There's definitely something in here, many things in here, really, that'll make it easier to get started. So take a listen to my conversation with Darby, and at the end, I'll come back and share a lesson that you can apply to your business. Darby, I'm so glad you're here. Thanks for being here.

Darby Days 6:21

Thank you for having me. It was a long time coming, but we're finally doing it.

Leah Neaderthal 6:26

We're doing it. We're making this happen. So, you know, obviously you and I are talking about marketing all the time, but why do you feel like this is an important conversation to share with people?

Darby Days 6:35

I think that especially with consultants, there's a lot of resistance towards marketing, and fair enough, especially because consultants in the beginning, and I can speak for myself as well, we work off of word of mouth and referrals, right? And oftentimes you don't have to put a lot of work into marketing. You just kind of get a really good referral, you nail your sales process and you close them out. But once you not exhaust your word of mouth or your referrals, once you get to that larger stage in your business, or what you like to call the messy middle, it becomes a little bit more of a gray area, and you kind of have to start showing up. And we'll talk more about this in a little bit, I'm sure, but it starts to feel like like you were saying previously, you're not as energetic. You feel like it's a tour that you have to do, like you're struggling to have these new conversations or attract new eyeballs. But there's like this resistance or negative connotation that happens with marketing, and so I think having this conversation is essential, because there's so much power behind it and so much positivity to it. So I think we just want to shift the beliefs around this.

Leah Neaderthal 7:50

Right? Yeah, I mean, you're totally right. Like, I've talked to a lot of women consultants, I have heard every reason why they either don't want to do marketing for their business, or don't have to do marketing, or sort of disdain around marketing. But the truth is, exactly as you said. I mean, I think this conversation is helpful for any women consultant, but maybe more helpful for women who are in the messy middle, because you know that sort of at least 18 months to two years in the business, when the referrals or word of mouth either start to dry up, or you are aware that it will or could dry up. Right at the very beginning of your business, you're getting all your clients through referrals and word of mouth, and you're like, I'm here, and people want to help you, and whatnot. And that usually carries you for like, 18 months to two years, right? And you can be really lulled into this false sense of security that it's always going to be like that. But then you hit this point where, like we said, it dries up, or, you know, it will, and that's when you actually have to start doing something. And that's when you can either, like, recede and sort of put your head down and fight it, or you can start actually marketing your business and being really smart about it. And obviously we see different levels of success on those two different paths. So I wanted to give everybody a glimpse of some of our conversations Darby and share some of the mindset shifts that kind of had to happen to get comfortable marketing your consulting business. I think

Darby Days 9:17

one thing that I will preface this by saying is we want to validate your feelings of it feeling scary. And right now it probably feels really scary and really icky and really unnatural to market your business, and that's okay, and we resonate and understand your starting point. But I guess in having this conversation, we want you to be open to an alternative, and we want you to see the opportunity of marketing being your best friend

Leah Neaderthal 9:49

totally. And let me just say, when I talk to women who are either following this podcast or following our newsletter or seeing me on LinkedIn or whatever, and Darby, I think I've shared this with you. I get a lot of compliments on, like, you know, you seem to have your message really tight, or you seem to be showing up, and it all seems to be streamlined and working together. I gotta say, that's not how it always was. And even before I started, you know, showing up on LinkedIn or having a newsletter or whatever, I was really freaked out about marketing. Also, like, I did not wake up like this. Do you know what I'm saying? And especially since I came from Marketing, and you know, it's really ironic that a lot of the women who have the most trouble with really getting started with marketing or know that they have something to say, come from, like, Marketing and Communications backgrounds, right? It's so true. It's this, like, cruel irony, right? So I will say that this is a journey, and I spent my whole career working in the background, and a lot of us did. And so the idea of, like, showing up, marketing, your business, whatever, yes, it can be scary. I know that intimately, because, like, I felt that right. And so please just don't mistake the operation that we have going now, and the way that I show up now, and the things I'm talking about now as like this. You know, natural talent I have for marketing, because you guys, you have to know I'm, like, the biggest introvert you've ever met, and so I know how hard it can be to get started. Yeah, I

Darby Days 11:14

guess my hope is to help you guys, the listeners, get from point A, where Leah was to point B with far less roadblocks and resistance and pain, because it's super cool once you're on the other side. Totally,

Leah Neaderthal 11:28

totally. So we have five mindset shifts to share with you. You know, I often hear that people are listening to this with like, pen and paper. I've heard that like, you cannot listen to this podcast on a run because you'll stop too many times and like so if you are somebody who writes stuff down during this podcast, you'll definitely want to have, you know, some post its or pieces of paper or whatever, because there's a lot I want you to take from this. So five mindset shifts that are going to make marketing, your consulting business a lot easier, less painful and more successful. Let's do it. So the first one I wanted to share with you is I often hear from women. I'm talking to women consultants this like dread about doing any marketing whatsoever, and almost like it says something bad about them. If they have to market their business, or if they market their business, it will say something bad about them. Like, you know, I know I should be posting on LinkedIn, but I don't want to look desperate, right? As if the whole idea of showing up anywhere makes you look desperate, right? If you're listening to this, you might have felt this way also. And so the first shift that sort of covers all the other shifts, this first mindset shift, is marketing your business is part of running a business. It like is part of the business. It's not something that's like, if you have to do it, you have failed somehow, right? Like marketing, business is part of a business. I mean, think about the brands that we know. I mean, Nike spends millions of dollars on advertising, right? Oprah advertises her podcast and her ventures, and these are for things that we already know, that you have to be marketing, right? And so if you've ever felt like, oh, I don't want to do anything, or I don't want to show up, because people will think I am desperate, then I think we need to sort of shift our thinking around that, like marketing is part of the business the same way that, like having accounting system is part of your business, or doing great customer service is part of your business, because every potential client has to go down some type of education process to become aware of you, learn about what you do, learn how you can help them, etc. And they can't do that if you are not visible to them, right? They're going through some education process with some potential partners, and I want you to be in that consideration set. So the first mindset shift is marketing. Your business is part of running a business

Darby Days 13:54

that was so well spoken. Yeah, marketing is the fuel. It's the fuel that leads to the sales process even being possible. And I love how you said that. So beautiful. So

Leah Neaderthal 14:06

another thing I hear from women Consultants is that, let's just take LinkedIn, right? Because, you know, you always want to market where your clients are, and for our clients, that is LinkedIn, right? I hear from a lot of women some version of the following. There's so much noise on LinkedIn. There's so much junk on LinkedIn, like there's nothing valuable. People are just talking, just to talk. I don't want to sound like this person or that person. Darby, what would you say to somebody who feels that way? I

Darby Days 14:34

think the concept that would be most helpful for you guys to consider is keep your eyes on your own paper. And what I mean by this is the clients that I've seen be most successful online, especially when it comes to marketing their services, are folks who really don't give a shit about anyone else. What they do care about is their clients and supporting them and educating on their products. Process and sharing their impact, and that is really how they become thought leaders. And like, really, the less you care about everyone else, the more energy you can put into caring for the people that you want to support, plain and simple, what are your thoughts on this? I'm curious.

Leah Neaderthal 15:19

I mean, you know, I'm like, right there with you. And I guess one question is, like, who cares? Who cares? What other people are doing? Like, if you think other people are saying just like noise and not providing value or whatever, other people have a right to sound like idiots, right? I mean, if we're gonna go there, that's their right. But like that doesn't mean that you have to do it. That doesn't mean that you have to sound like that. And in fact, you know what we see from the women who implement our LinkedIn system and our content that converts strategy, the more not that you can be and the more value you can provide. That's how you actually stand out. And I think what's challenging for me about this type of thinking, like, oh, there's so much noise, and, you know, everyone's just talking, just to talk, is it's like, imagine you're at a club or at a dance or something like that, right? And you're like, making fun of all the other people who are dancing, and yet you yourself are not dancing, right? So, good, fine. You might not like the way that other people are dancing, but like, you've got to dance, you know, yeah, and I love what you were saying about as we were sort of talking about this before we started recording, you said, when you only focus on your clients and your message and what they need to know and how to provide value and whatnot, that's how you know you are a thought leader, because you're not caring about what other people are saying.

Darby Days 16:43

Yeah, there's so much power in authenticity, and the less you compare and dilute your message with everyone else's BS or comparison fatigue and analysis paralysis, the more potent your message becomes, and it does really allow your brand and your voice to cut through the noise. Now, don't get me wrong, there's still a bunch of noise, even if you post authentically, and you can't expect, you know, unlimited amounts of returns from one LinkedIn post, however, a culmination of these reps of your voice without anyone else's noise getting in the way. Does have immense ROI

Leah Neaderthal 17:25

Absolutely. I mean, all marketing is consistency, right? Like, it doesn't even matter, and I say all the time, like, doesn't even matter what channel you use or what tactic you use, consistency is the only strategy. And so, right? If you're showing up authentically for you. You know, 35 AI tools that are going to make you seven figures tomorrow. Like, if you want to write a post like that, fine, there's a lot of those out there. But you know, showing up authentically consistently is how you cut through the noise and how you establish your voice, and don't worry about what anybody else is saying. So mindset shift number two is eyes on your own paper. All right. So third one, another thing I see among the women who I'm talking to these, you know, women consultants, is this, it sounds different every time, but it's this sort of fear that, like, I could do something, but like, it's not going to be that good, or this fear that it won't be good, it won't be insightful enough, it won't be valuable enough, it won't land perfectly with my ideal client. What would you say to someone who has that fear that's holding them back, I

Darby Days 18:34

think, in the kindest way possible, stop taking yourself so seriously, especially in the beginning, because realistically, and we were talking about this in the scenario of a gym, and actually, I don't know if there's any Pilates folks out there, but I started Pilates late last year, and the first Pilates class I went to, I felt like A hippo on like a tiny little, it's reformer Pilates. So I felt like I have on this, like tiny little reformer carriage struggling. But then 60 classes in, I'm doing like a pike on the football, if you know what that means. But in order to become good at something, you have to be bad at it first. And when you take yourself so seriously and put so many restrictions on yourself and bully yourself into believing it has to be perfection, the first time around, you're just getting in your own way. And so my advice is just get your reps in, because you will see immense improvement very quickly, and you will be putting yourself out there. It'll feel more comfortable. You'll get stronger at it. But yeah, just like, Chill out. Chill out

Leah Neaderthal 19:51

totally. This resonates so deeply with me, because this is something I've had to overcome, not just in marketing, but in like many parts of my life, the. I was somebody who, and I imagine that a lot of the listeners are, I was somebody who, like, I kind of get things the first time, you know, get things pretty easily. But the problem is, it became this, like, self fulfilling prophecy, because as I grew up, I stopped trying things that I wasn't immediately good at. You know, I would just sort of like, be like, Oh, that's not for me, it's not meant to be, but really what I was doing was, like not putting the reps in and not letting myself put the reps in. And I took this little screenshot that I shared with you earlier, but it says I'm reading it right here. It was a tweet from back in Twitter days, but it says deeply disgusted to discover that in order to get good at a thing, I have to do it badly first. And I screenshotted that because, like, that was how I operated for so long. But, I mean, if you think about it, like, yeah, you you can't get good at something unless you start bad at it first, you know? And I think that's the the trap of, like, you know, the high achieving overachiever, you know what I'm saying, yeah,

Darby Days 20:58

if you're feeling disheartened and it feels uncomfortable nine times out of 10. It's probably a sign that you need to get better at it, or you need to put more effort into it. So it feels counterintuitive, right, like, Oh, this is uncomfy. This feels wrong. This feels icky. Or, you know, when you're back to my Pilates reference, Lord, when you're doing an exercise that you're not used to doing, you get the shakes, right? And my instructor always tells me, if you're getting the shakes, that means you need to do this exercise more. And so if you're getting the shakes and marketing your business, all that tells you and tells us, is you need to put more reps in totally. When

Leah Neaderthal 21:38

I look back to some of my first LinkedIn posts, you guys, it's so cringe, like it's not that good. You know, I wasn't speaking to my ideal client very well. I don't know I was doing my best. It was doing the best I could with the tools I had at the time. But if I didn't do those, then I would never have gotten to the point that I am now. And it's okay, because you have to get started somewhere. And I think that like we look at this is, like the royal we right, if you're not showing up on LinkedIn or doing any marketing, and you're just sort of a lurker, which is you're scrolling and you're sort of clicking around, but not really engaging or showing up with your own stuff, it's very easy to look at other people and say, well, like she must have it all together. She knows what she's doing, or they know what they're doing, or what have you. I could never be like that, right? And I think the difference between somebody who you think has it all together and you is that they just happen to show up, right? They just happen to show up. And I think that what people discover when they start to actually post, right? They're like, using our system, for example, and they start to show up on LinkedIn, they start to get feedback from people in their world, potential clients, or, you know, colleagues, or whatever. And they say, you know, your LinkedIn stuff is so good, like, you're so good at LinkedIn. And then they say, Well, you know, I just learned this stuff. Like, I'm just figuring this stuff out, right? But that's the thing. You happened to show up, and you never know who's on the other side of their computer, looking at you with your LinkedIn posts and being like, Oh, she knows what she's doing. She really has it together. I could never be like that, right? And again, the only difference is, you showed up. I

Darby Days 23:22

wanted to pull a line that you said that I think listeners of this podcast can use as a mantra moving forward, which is, I'm doing the best that I can with the tools that I have right now. I think that's beautiful. I think it kicks the self doubt and the self deprecation to the curb, and it will support you in showing up, so that way you can become somebody's inspiration. I think that's great.

Leah Neaderthal 23:48

It's so funny. I don't know if this is interesting for you guys listening, but like that phrase I came up with a few years ago. It came out of therapy, actually, because being really hard on yourself is especially things don't go right. But being really hard on yourself is a perfectionist tendency, right? And so I made up that phrase for myself to just be a little compassionate with myself, right? Like, instead of like, oh, you know, let's say something doesn't go right. You know, old perfectionist me would be super hard on myself, being like, how could you, as a smart person, have let this happen, right? Whether it's something big that doesn't go right, or like, you know, you follow Google Maps and you hit some traffic, and how could this have happened, right? And so I did the best I could with the tools I had at the time, or with the information I had at the time. It's become my personal mantra. And yeah, I think it's so helpful just to sort of take some of the air and the pressure off of doing something like showing up. So mindset shift number three, stop taking yourself so seriously. All right. So mindset shift number four, another thing I see and I sort of hear. This from almost everyone I talk to is, you know, I don't want to post on LinkedIn, or I don't want to do marketing or be seen doing marketing, because I don't want to be salesy. I don't want a big business. I'm not in it for the money. I'm in it because I really care about my clients, and I'm in it for the impact. I just want to make an impact. Darby, what would you say to people who have that mindset. It's really

Darby Days 25:21

interesting. And I'll talk about actually yours and my relationship in a second, because I think it relates well. But marketing is your impact. It is impact. And so if you really want to practice what you preach, then you'll share your expertise. Because in saying no to marketing, you're also saying yes to holding organizations back, employees back, keeping people stagnant that you want to support. By sharing your voice, you're sharing your impact, plain and simple. And what I was thinking about Leah is a concept that you say to me often when we're preparing marketing material, which is, everything that I market, I want to be a reflection of what I'm going to teach people. Right? You don't want to market in a way that feels misaligned with how you approach your clients, and I get that want. And so when you think of marketing, and marketing, your services like it is your way of showing people what you can do and how you will serve them. And there's so much power in that,

Leah Neaderthal 26:31

absolutely, I feel like there's this tendency to combine showing up or posting or doing, you know, any sort of marketing with it only has to be about money. It only has to be about clients. It only has to be about the business. But you never know when something that you say could unlock something for a potential client. A client might feel seen by what you share. It could empower somebody to do something or make a change. And so showing up on LinkedIn, or however you're going to market your business, is not just about the money, it is about the impact. And you know, when you refuse kind of what you're doing right? When you refuse to share that, then you're sort of withholding that from people who actually really need it. You know

Darby Days 27:17

for sure, oftentimes working B to B, right, like the decision makers that you're working with are, for sure, the C suite, but it's also, you know, frontline employees, or managerial staff. And if your post gets to them, maybe you empower them to go to their leadership team and say, Hey, listen. You know, this is a big problem, and we need to fix it. And here are the repercussions of an action. And that is so cool, not just because, sure, it could lead to a client for you, but because you're changing lives. You really are. And it could just be from a LinkedIn post. I have a really weird story that isn't business related at all, but it kind of shows how you never know who's watching or who's thinking of you. So back when I was a little bean, I recorded a song with my mom, very cringe, but we posted it on YouTube, because why not. And I worked at a grocery store at the time, in one day, out of nowhere, a person came up to my till and just started singing the song. And I had never met this person before in my life. Turned out it was like a friend of a friend of a friend of my mom's. But I was like, What in the heck? Like this person decided to sit down and watch a six minute video of a stranger's daughter, basically, but it sat with her, and it made her so happy, happy enough that she came and recited it to me, but you really just don't know. You have no idea what impact and what feeling you're going to convey on to people. And it's such a privilege to have a voice and such a disservice to not use it absolutely

Leah Neaderthal 29:00

I mean, I think that if it's true that you are in it for the impact, then marketing is impact, right? And so follow your own rules. If it's truly about the impact, then this is how you get your impact out. So mindset shift number four, marketing is impact. All right, the last one to talk about is, you know, mindset shift number five. Another thing I hear from the women I talk to is kind of like this frustration. It's like, why am I not there yet? Wherever there is, like, why do I still have to do this. Why do I still have to post or why do I still need to do marketing or reach out to people, or what have you? And there's this sort of underlying assumption that at some point they'll get to a place where they don't have to do this anymore, and a frustration that they're not there yet and are sort of. Meant that they're not there yet. Darby, what would you say to people who are like, Okay, I'll do some of this, but like, when do I get to the place where I don't have to do this anymore?

Darby Days 30:09

You will never not do it. Marketing is forever. What's that song? Something is forever. It's like marketing is forever. It is your baby for life. She's here with you for more than 18 plus years, and we were talking about this earlier, but the biggest influencers that you see have been in business for decades and are still marketing. The rock is marketing. Tony Robbins is marketing. Oprah is marketing in different ways and probably more exciting and adventurous ways, because they already have the foundation of their brand. But everyone is marketing, and that's the fun part, right? And the cool thing about marketing is you don't have to be the same person forever. You don't have to be in the same season. You don't have to be marketing the same offerings. You'll have to change with the algorithm and the platforms, but that's what keeps it exciting. And to me, I mean, I'm such a marketing nerd, so this gets me all hyped up, but that is so freaking cool to be able to ride this wave forever and grow with it, in my personal opinion,

Leah Neaderthal 31:19

yeah, totally. And I think it's easy for you, and I to say, like, this is where it gets exciting, because we're over that hump where it doesn't feel exciting, right? And it feels really hard. But I think a lot of people are sort of stuck in the before, right? They're sort of before the hump, and so they're like, waiting for, like, when does it get exciting, right? Or when does it get easier? Also, like, when they say easier, it's like, when do I not have to do this? And I pulled up this screenshot. I take a lot of screenshots. You guys. Screenshot from another coach who I really respect, named Erica tebbens. She's like a small business coach for, like, micro businesses. And she said, I'm just going to read this here. And this is in my program. You know, I even share this with Academy members, because I think it's so important. She says, the number one thing I wish micro business owners would understand and fully embrace so much personal suffering is caused by assuming there's some level you can reach in business where loads of potential clients are landing at your digital doorstep week after a week, if you simply crack some magical marketing code, she goes on. She goes, this is highly unlikely. Again, back to Darby, some of the people you mentioned and the brands I mentioned earlier, they're still marketing their business because call back to mindset shift number one, like marketing is part of running a business, right? If you're waiting for this time that you don't have to do it, or you're resentful that you're not there, or you're frustrated by that. I mean, I have some tough news for you. You know, like tough love, marketing is forever. You know, I was talking to a woman who she has a lot of experience in her industry. She had gotten all her clients through word of mouth. She wanted to be this like in demand person in her industry, but she refused to do any sort of networking or marketing, or, you know, showing up on LinkedIn. She refused all the things that we've talked about in this conversation. She had these beliefs that were sort of keeping her from marketing her business. She kind of wanted to be like a Martin Scorsese, right? Like it's just in demand director sort of speak. And I was like, But wait a minute. So you want to be this, like Hired Gun, basically, but you don't want to tell anybody about what you're doing or put yourself out there in any way. You just want people to come to you. And she was like, Yes, right? Do you see how there's like dissonance there. The math isn't mathing, right? And also, by the way, we see the Martin Scorsese's and the hired guns or whatever, really mature in their careers, right? Don't you think like young Martin Scorsese was like, I want to be on that picture, you know, give me that job, or, you know, please introduce me to this person or whatever, right? And so it just doesn't work to not do anything to market your business and expect that people will be flocking to you, right? Yeah.

Darby Days 34:08

And also, what these people are doing now is not what you need to be doing, right? You need to be doing probably what they were doing 10 years ago. And that's okay, because you know, you're in your little, what's a little car, a gulf, a mini, I don't know, and they're, they're red Ferrari, and you'll get there. But you just keep fueling. You keep fueling your business. Keep fueling, keep fueling, and then you can upgrade, and then you can upgrade, and then you can upgrade. And it's really exciting. But, yeah, you can't compare yourself or expect you to be at the height of your marketing journey when you haven't even started,

Leah Neaderthal 34:48

right? I once heard this phrase, you can't compare your beginning to somebody else's middle. Yes, right, yeah, but you have to get through the beginning to even get to the middle. And you were talking. About it's kind of like working out. Yes,

Darby Days 35:01

I was saying to Leah, I don't know why we expect to work really hard for two years to get this eight pack and then expect that if we stop working out, this eight pack is just going to be there forever. That is not how exercise works. We have to maintain this cadence and maintain this energy and commitment, and marketing is no different. We have to maintain our eight pack

Leah Neaderthal 35:29

Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I've never had an eight pack, but I understand the analogy here. Okay, so marketing is forever, which is not a life sentence, it's a real opportunity, huge. All right, so those are the five marketing mindset shifts. Number one, marketing your business is part of running a business. Number two, eyes on your own paper. Who cares what anybody else is doing? You do what's authentic to you, but make sure you do something. Number three, stop taking yourself so seriously. It's okay to start at the beginning and be a beginner for a little while, until you get really good at something. Number four, marketing is impact. If you're somebody who cares about your clients and wants to make an impact, then you owe it to them to share your voice and share your point of view. And number five, marketing is forever. There's no magic point where you just get all the clients coming to you without any effort. So settle in, and let's have fun with it. And

Darby Days 36:37

bonus sticky note item, I'm doing the best that I can with the tools that I have right now. Yep, no good. Your beliefs feels shifted. Listeners, do you feel like a new woman? You should if

Leah Neaderthal 36:51

anything that you've heard today really sort of like hits you in the feels, be sure to post about it on LinkedIn tag Darby and me and let us give you a signal boost, because these shifts are part of your personal development as a business owner, and we always want to celebrate the women who are really growing and want to be better business owners. So Darby, thanks so much for being here. Where can people see the marketing that you're putting out? Yes.

Darby Days 37:21

So I'm on LinkedIn, it's Darby Rolf, R, o, l, F, as in Frank E. And then on Instagram, it's Darby days.co I have a writer name and a legal name. You guys can figure out which one's which, but feel free to reach out to me and chat. I work with coaches and consultants, and I would love to talk with you and just learn how things are going. And of course, Leah will give me any feedback that you guys have as well. All right,

Leah Neaderthal 37:46

you guys, thank you for listening. Darby, thank you so much for being here.

Darby Days 37:50

Thank you for having me. And I look forward to continuing this conversation off camera.

Leah Neaderthal 37:56

Yeah, we'll probably talk in five minutes, probably on Slack.

Darby Days 37:59

See you then,

Leah Neaderthal 38:05

all right, that was such a great conversation with Darby. And of course, if there's someone you think would benefit from listening to this episode, please share it with the women consultants in your world. So you know, I always come back at the end of these episodes and I share a lesson that you can apply to your business. And there's something that we didn't touch on, but it needs to be said to sort of connect some of the dots here, because a lot of women consultants get most or all of their clients through referrals. And it can feel like you can sort of have this sense of, Well, you know, it's really nice, I guess, but like, I don't need to do marketing, because I get my clients through referrals, right? Or wondering, is it even worth it to do marketing like do I even have to do that? And I just want to say that marketing your business and getting referrals are not opposites. They're not mutually exclusive. Because when you run a consulting business, one of the goals of marketing your business is to get referrals. In fact, you know you're doing it right when you start to get referrals from people who don't even know you. So it's like to get referrals people have to know you and be familiar with you. And you know, forgive the double negative here, but not marketing your business doesn't help more people know you and be familiar with you. And so just because you get clients from referrals doesn't mean you should do marketing, or you don't need to do marketing, right? You do marketing so that you can continue to get referrals, and really, more of the right referrals, not just sort of anybody who sent you away. All right? So I hope that makes sense. I just want to sort of make that connection. In case you were feeling like, well, you know, this doesn't really apply to me. I promise, whether you get your clients through referrals or not, everything we said in our conversation, it applies to you, all right? So I feel like this episode was jam packed. So I hesitate to add one more lesson that you can apply in your business, because I feel like there were so many lessons that you can apply in your business, right? So I want to end with this. Instead, I want to end with an invitation. I have a feeling that one of the mindset shifts we talked about hit you in some way, like maybe when I was talking about some of the stuff I'm hearing from women consultants, maybe one of those sounded like something that maybe you felt or thought or said, and so maybe one of the mindset shifts, one of the five really got you thinking, like, at least one of them got you thinking. And so my invitation to you is write that one down on a post it note, and put it somewhere where you can see it when you're at your computer. And then I invite you to think about, how will you act on this mindset shift, like, how will you start doing something or do it in a new way or approach it differently, like write it down. Personal Development is so important for business owners, and when you learn something and make a shift and change your actions, that's how you grow. And then I invite you to post about it on LinkedIn and tag me. I would love to hear how all of this landed with you, and when you tag me, I'll share it, and I'll give you a signal boost, because doing marketing for your consulting business, that's how people find out about you and learn what you do and get more familiar with you and see the value you provide, and that's how you'll get Your next consulting client and every client after that, I.

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