I think we need to talk about confidence.
When I have intro calls with my SIGNED students, I ask each one what’s holding them back from landing the clients that they want.
And there’s one common thread. It might be a factor with you too.
Confidence.
If you’re like my SIGNED students, it’s not that you aren’t confident in general. And you know the work you do is awesome – you’re confident AF in that area.
So why does confidence seem to evaporate when you’re doing business development?
It’s because of what my SIGNED student Betsy Talbot calls “head trash”: all that bullshit you’ve picked up along the way, and that you carry around with you now.
Put another way: Your confidence goes back to every experience you’ve had in your life.
Every authority figure who told you not to “toot your own horn”.
Any classmate who teased you, or didn’t want to sit next to you at lunch.
Anyone who didn’t call back you for another date.
Anyone who talked down to you at work.
Everyone who made you doubt yourself. Anyone who made you feel rejected.
The residue of these experiences lodges into your brain, your cells, and becomes “head trash” that rears its ugly head.
THEN you bring that into a sales environment. And don’t forget that there’s even more pressure because this is this is what you count on for your income. So the doubt and fear of rejection is multiplied.
So is it any wonder that we feel like we don’t have confidence?
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So what’s the fix here? Well, there are a few things.
First, we can be compassionate with ourselves. We can acknowledge that we’re the result of our experiences, and be kind to ourselves for the negative experiences we still carry with us. (One of the pillars of the Manifesto for Ambitious Women Entrepreneurs is about this.)
Second, we can be aware when our head trash is rearing its ugly head. And we can tell it to shut the hell up.
Third, we can follow a business development system that’s based on proven strategies and a repeatable process that works. So that our ability to land new clients isn’t based on our confidence, or whether our head trash is at a 2, 6, or 10 on any particular day. So we can do what we need to do without doubt and fear, because we know we’re taking the right steps.
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What about you? Are there experiences in your life that have affected your confidence? If you were to talk to yourself at the age when you experienced them, what would you say to yourself?
If you’d like, write back and let me know.
To your success,
Leah
